she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
