I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
