State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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