at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i want to swaddle you in tequila
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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