woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So squirting runs in the family.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
