she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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