everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize