Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
