...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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