I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
