i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
