what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
