Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
