Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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