The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
