I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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