Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize