Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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