Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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