If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
