i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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