There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
