If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
