he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
