I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I checked into jail on foursquare
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
