When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
