i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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