well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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