dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have aggressive nipples.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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