I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
