btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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