I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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