i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
