I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
