I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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