this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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