My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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