I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
