I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
