dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
