"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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