No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
