Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
