So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As shirtless as possible
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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