Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
