U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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