Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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