it wasn't lemon gatorade
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
