i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
