i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
