I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
