I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
