We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
