There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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