this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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