I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
soo... how was my night?
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